Tuesday, 8 September 2026

 Kim WELLS (Rowville) (18:21): It is always a hard act to follow the member for Croydon. Well done, you always set a bar too high to jump. A special thanks to the member for Benambra for coming down especially to listen to Hodgett’s and my speeches, and a big thanks to our whip Chris Crewther for sorting all this out. I would like to thank the chamber for allowing me to deliver my very last speech, and I need to squash 34 years as an MP into 15 minutes. I would like to thank the Liberal Party for giving someone like me the chance of a lifetime to serve the good people of Victoria.

Although born in Leongatha, we moved to Bairnsdale when I was young. My dad was a strong Labor supporter, and my mum was a strong Country Party supporter who thought that Pauline Hanson was too far left for her conservative views. But I think the proudest moment of her life was the day Tim Bull was elected for Gippsland East. We lived in the old housing commission area of Dalmahoy Street, and I think Tim Bull described it as an area that had ‘more than its fair share of police call-outs’, and it is a pity that reputation followed our family when we moved to Moroney Street. Tim, a big thankyou for single-handedly getting me into the Bairnsdale High School hall of fame after being rejected for decades.

I had the worst speech impediment possible. For the life of me, I could not say ‘th’; they were ‘f’s, so ‘firty-fwee’. I could not say ‘r’s; they were ‘w’s, so ‘wed’ instead of ‘red’. And my ‘s’s – God only knows where they went, but I used to say ‘chixty-chix’. It is no wonder I was invited to so many parties for their entertainment, and it took me years of therapy to correct it.

I was fortunate enough to have joined Cubs and Scouts at a young age, and I became obsessed with working hard to gain badges, so ‘Reward for effort’ became my motto, and it is still the Liberal Party belief that I align with the most: reward for effort. At 14 I told my father, the strong Labor supporter who left school at grade 6, that I had two aims in life: to play footy until I was 40 and to go into Liberal politics. At age 15 I was put up for foster care. But I can assure members it was not because of our political differences; it was for other reasons. I moved from family to family, and I was eventually placed with a Christian family out at Waterholes, a farming family about 33 kilometres north-east of Bairnsdale. The problem was that they would not pick me up from footy training on a Tuesday and Thursday night, so I refused to comply. They placed me in a Jehovah’s Witness men’s boarding house. There were a few good men in their 60s and me, by that time 16, and they were very good to me. They did not celebrate birthdays, but I make up for it now.

I joined the Liberal Party at 20, played footy, went mountain climbing and hiking around the world, got married to Judy and had two incredible sons, Sam and Tom. I was preselected for the Liberal Party for the seat of Wantirna in 1991 and legged it to this place in 1992, and 34 years later I am leaving as the member for Rowville. Peter Poggioli was my first state Liberal director, and I have always been indebted to him.

Just four years in as an MP, my dad died, and I wanted to climb Mount Aconcagua in Argentina, the highest mountain in the world outside the Himalaya. As a trade-off, Judy wanted a baby daughter. The Wells family had gone for 106 years with no girls, but thank goodness we had our beautiful daughter Tahnee. Some say she should have been called Aconcagua.

I have worked with some of the most incredible leaders, who I have admired greatly: Denis Napthine, who was opposition leader and later Premier and gave me the start as a shadow minister – I admired his intellect; Robert Doyle, who could read a 50-page document and give a perfect presser after reading it; the great Ted Baillieu, who won the 2010 state election against all the odds, and his team, including Michael Kapel, his chief of staff, who would have to be one of the most brilliant, toughest men I have ever met, along with Tony Nutt, director of the Victorian Liberal Party, and Glenn Corey, who headed up the costings of our policies, as well as the brilliant Robert Clark, who did all things legal and finance. They all did a successful and remarkable job.

We lost the 2014 election, and we could have blamed everyone and everything, but we had to get back on the horse, and under Matthew Guy’s leadership we did just that. I was very proud to serve under Michael O’Brien when he was leader, and as his Manager of Opposition Business. We worked well as a team. When Michael O’Brien was in the room, I considered him to be the smartest person in that room every time. Brad Battin, thank you for your friendship and your leadership of the party.

In 34 years of Parliament I have never had a coffee, never had a cigarette. I have never smoked marijuana; sorry to the choofers. I have never touched a drop of alcohol here in Parliament. I never got a tattoo. And I restrained myself from using the words ‘You can’t be that stupid’ 2166 times. And thank you, Richard, for your guidance in this area.

What I will not miss are the constant emails requesting me to speak at a women’s leadership conference somewhere around the world or my many emails addressed to Mrs, Ms or Miss Kim or Kimberly Wells. Bridget, I think we may have had a case just recently where I was required to speak on a panel until they realised I was a male. However, I will miss lunch with Nicole and Joe, Mel’s chocolate bullets and the boys trips away – or maybe we can continue them as grumpy old men – under the leadership of Blackwood, Tilley or Normie.

It is probably at this point I should correct the record from Martin Dixon’s valedictory speech, where he claimed that we had slept together. Yes, it was in a tent on many occasions, but the divider down the centre of the tent was the same as the dividers in Northern Ireland separating the Protestants and the Catholics, including the barbed wire along the top of the fence.

My thankyous to the preselectors who made all this happen for me – Rob and Ailsa Llewellyn, Val and Gary Edwards, Carl and Chris Aldons, Tom and Carmen Blazé – and to my campaign teams, again led by Rob Llewellyn, Geoff White, David Apelt and my close mate Ev Duke, who have supported me through thick and thin. To every single branch member who stood on polling booths, did letterboxing, street walks and attended fundraisers I say a huge thankyou for your assistance and your friendship.

Thank you to my incredible staff: at the very beginning, Marg Briggs, who encouraged me to walk the Kokoda Track; Cath Hilton, my first full-time EO – in those days you were only allowed one electorate officer per office, and geez, I miss that fax machine; and Chris Costello, who was my EO, then followed me into the Treasury offices as my brilliant gatekeeper.

I had the very best ministerial team, and I will always be so grateful. A very special thankyou to our driver Alan McIntyre, who became a lifetime mate. I also had the best parliamentary secretary, the member for Caulfield. I could not forget Kimmy McFarlane. When she arrived at the office there was mass confusion at having two people in the office with the name Kim, so one of us had to be called Kimmy, and it certainly was not going to be me. I am sure Kim Kardashian’s social life would match Kim McFarlane’s. We were incredibly fortunate to take Gary Blackwood’s advice and employ Stuart Gibson, and he transformed our office onto social media platforms that I had not even heard of. I see a huge future for him. Then we took Stuart’s advice and employed Jesse, a brilliant young man with the best manners of anyone. Then Lachie, who was introduced to us and told us all about AI or A1 or something like that, which I still do not understand. Both Jesse and Lachie will also go a long way.

Being accused of assaulting someone – anyone – is dreadful, and you feel that any credibility that you have has been lost. This happened to me on the first day of pre-poll in the 2018 election. The disgraced former mayor of Knox Joe Cossari put on Facebook on the Tuesday night that I had assaulted him and then went to the police and the Victorian Electoral Commission to lodge an official complaint. Although there were about 20 people handing out how-to-vote cards with volunteers, no-one saw a thing because it never happened. I had my mugshot taken and was interviewed by police, and they agreed they had no witnesses to substantiate Cossari’s claim. I always remember a woman walking past me at pre-poll saying, ‘I don’t vote for thugs.’ Even though it never happened, it still seems to stay with you. After years of defamation, with the judge ruling in my favour and awarding costs, Cossari had one more disgraceful act: he declared bankruptcy, leaving my lawyers, Carbone, and my family hundreds of thousands of dollars out of pocket. I will always be grateful for Manny Carbone from Carbone Lawyers and my electorate staff for standing so firm with me.

Next, can I thank my current staff, who have been long-term friends. Lois Hutchings is 80-something, and we have known each other since preselection. Lois, I have always valued your advice, hard work and absolute loyalty, especially when we were under attack. Julia McIntyre, you have been a new addition, and we have loved having you as part of our team. You have obviously inherited your mother’s sense of humour. Colleen Black is the best electorate officer anyone could have. You have been hardworking and you always know what to do with the constituents – the number of voters who always say to me on the polling booth, ‘Please thank Colleen for helping us so much.’ Glenn Corey, not many people in the world have your intellect, and you know, like many others, that I would not have reached the positions I did without you. Your measured analysis and fearless and frank advice have always been appreciated, and you are a great mate.

To the Scoresby City Club set up in the mid-1990s to help our fundraising – Ev Duke, Tony Raso, John King, Karyn Jones and Martin Pettit – I will always be so grateful to every single member who did the hard work over so many years. To the Grassroots Club set up in the 1990s to keep everyone grounded, I really appreciate the laughs, the hikes, the mountain climbing and the many more adventures to come. And no, Tony Holland does not have the casting vote, and our meetings will proceed along the same lines, hopefully without the prosecco.

On to my incredible family. Judy, before I went into politics I promised you that if I lost the election we would live in South Africa for one year with your mum and dad and family. What I did not tell you, which I am confessing now, is that I prayed to God every night before the election that I would win so I did not have to live in South Africa. I am owning up to it now. To my three kids Sam, Tom and Alicia – Tahnee – and our cutest grandson Oscar: I am so extremely proud of you all and cannot wait to spend more quality time with you, including surfing, minigolf, more footy, more sporting events, where I am guessing Kim buys the alcohol, and a bit more time at cubs.

To every single person who has worked in this incredible building I say thank you. To the clerks Bridget, Vaughn, Paul and Joel, thanks for your expertise in running this place and the ethics committee with Daniela. Thanks to the attendants, VPS staff, especially Brenda and Janelle, as well as Adam and the security and the cleaning staff and IT, and a special thanks to Peter Lochert for when he was here.

The work of the parliamentary committee system is so valuable, and I have been very fortunate to have had brilliant committee secretariats led by Sandy Cook. Despite our political differences, we have become good friends. I hope I can form the same friendship with Sean Coley when I retire. Sean is an exceptional administrator. Tim Read, although he is a greenie, was an excellent chair, and with the members for Sandringham and Mildura we held the IBAC and Integrity and Oversight committees to account.

Finally, to the future and the upcoming election. To Jess Wilson, born into a Liberal family with a brilliant political brain, you lead with intellect, consistently have a great sense of humour and have surrounded yourself with brilliant people, and that is the hallmark of a good leader. Please be sure that I will be working day and night to assist you and the team. We have an exceptional candidate in Rowville with Max Williams, who is working as hard as any candidate I have seen. Jess, apart from having a strong Liberal team, you have a strong coalition partner in the Nationals, ably led by Danny O’Brien, who Judy has voted the funniest person in Parliament. I still do not get it; I am sorry, I just do not get it. I was mortified when Steph Ryan left Parliament – I am sorry, Steph, I am still annoyed by your decision. But now, with losing three exceptional Nats in Peter Walsh, Tim Bull and Kim O’Keeffe, the coalition team will not be quite the same.

I wish everyone the very best and look forward to spending a bit more time with those MPs who are retiring. And Cindy, for once in my life I will take your advice, from someone who I consider a mate ‍– well, some of the time. Cindy said to me, ‘Don’t overcommit in retirement,’ and she is right. Finally, most importantly, to the constituents, who have placed their faith in me time and time again, I am forever grateful. It was my honour to work for you. Thank you.

Members applauded.