Wednesday, 23 September 2026

 Joe McCRACKEN (Western Victoria) (19:51): I was looking for inspirational quotes to sum up my time in this place. A Google search resulted in ‘Live, laugh, love’. That did not really get me that far. Then I thought maybe I should quote some TV shows that I grew up with. Little Britain was one of my favourite shows, and it might reflect the voting in this chamber – ‘Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but whatever.’ It had some relevance but did not really encapsulate what I wanted to say. Then I thought, ‘Hey, Joe, you’re a millennial. The ultimate source of wisdom for a millennial is The Simpsons.’ In the one I found from Homer, he says, ‘Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.’ And the other one that I found was ‘Won’t somebody please think of the children?’ Sort of polar opposites, those. The practical application of politics was there but probably not the vibe that I was after. Then I thought maybe I would go through and think of some music. Classic 1980s hits like Everybody Wants to Rule the World or Shout by Tears for Fears had a certain relevance to this chamber. Then I thought that maybe I would go for something a little bit more modern, like Poker Face by Lady Gaga or Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day – again, somewhat relevant, but also somewhat depressing. Finding a good quote was hard, so I moved on.

Something that has not been hard in my time in this place has been working with the diverse communities of Western Victoria. It has been a huge, huge honour. Serving with 39 other fine people in this place has also been one of the biggest honours of my life. I think the part that I have loved the most about this job is being out and about in the community talking to people, listening, learning and trying to help out where I can, and I hope I have done my community proud. But there is a cost, and it is time. As I get around about halfway through my life, it makes you sit back and think about how much time you have left, and time is precious. So as my time comes to an end in this place, I would like to reflect on some of the experiences and the people I have had the good fortune of working with, particularly in this chamber but also beyond. At the end of the day politics is all about people, and I have loved working with everyone in here in our own way.

Now, I know this place is adversarial, but I discovered only recently that I had a nemesis, or should I say an arch nemesis. Mr McIntosh let me know of his self-identification only last sitting week. But like all good arch nemeses, I know his kryptonite – two words: Jeff Kennett.

When the fires were burning near my home town of Beaufort only a couple of years ago, many people I grew up with were displaced, even my own family. You probably will not remember this, Ms Symes, but you reached out to me as the Minister for Emergency Services at the time, and you checked in and said, ‘How are you? I understand your family’s under a bit of trouble.’ I have never forgotten that, so thank you.

Mr Galea – my next victim – I feel like we have been on committees together since day one. You are kind, you are decent, you are smart and you work incredibly hard. And if you want to join the Liberal Party, I can help you out. I am not sure whoever had the title, but now that I am leaving this place, you are undoubtedly the official godfather of the gay mafia. Run the firm well, my friend.

A few months ago I found a photo of myself and Ms Tierney from when I was mayor of Colac Otway and Gayle was the local member. We were opening a kindergarten. It is a really lovely photo. Mr Galea commented, and he said, ‘My God, you both haven’t aged a day.’ In that moment I almost signed up to the Labor Party, but then my sanity was restored. Ms Tierney, you have always been a good sport, and thank you for your camaraderie.

Ms Shing, I think I have probably asked you, maybe, out of everyone in here, more about car parking than anything else. You are witty and you have a synonym for every word, utterance, phrase, term, expression, statement, comment, remark, message and locution that has ever been conceived. I wish you all the very best in your future as well.

To Ms Watt, Mr Batchelor, Ms Ermacora and Mr Tarlamis – did I say that right, because I never did, Tarlamis; I am only stirring – with whom I have served on committees, and indeed all the members of the government, thank you.

Now to the crossbench – to the Greens, in particular Mr Puglielli and Ms Gray-Barberio, who I have also shared committees with, we have not always agreed, but we have found common ground, and I am very, very grateful for that. Our dealings have always been fair and up-front. Aiv, I fear that I will not be around for any more committees to see Demi Moore make an appearance – maybe some other star might appear in the future. Rachel Payne, we have worked on committees as well. Again, we probably disagree on many things, but it never really became an issue because you always focused on working positively with people. If I consumed some of your wares, I might have been more agreeable too, but I never did, I am sorry. Good luck to you as well.

To Mr Bourman, one of the most decent folks in this place: Jeff, you say you are a simple man, and I agree, but I also think you are a wise man. Thank you for being a mate. I will miss our chats out the back, the banter and the friendship.

Mrs Deeming – if she can be proud of anything, it is her family. I know that is her greatest achievement, and I know that she knows that as well. I thank her for her friendship. I know she has had a roller-coaster ride, but I wish her well in the future as well.

To Mr Limbrick, you are kind of the opposite of Ms Shing – anything that can be said in 10 words you say in two. But I have always been really impressed and humbled to be working with you, particularly on the Commonwealth Games committee and more recently on the TAC inquiry. You are straightforward, down to earth and direct, and I will miss that no-nonsense approach.

My first interaction with Georgie Purcell was before this place, when she was partially responsible for shutting down the Colac Otway email system by flooding it with spam. She probably also saw my angry email to Andy Meddick when he sent me a Christmas card, a vegan Christmas card. To me, though, you will always be a fellow upstart on Neil Mitchell on 3AW. I miss those days.

Ms Rikkie-Lee Tyrrell, I knew as soon as I met you that we would be friends. You are my walking buddy, my quizmaster, my consistent plus one but most importantly a true mate. You are a grounded country girl, and that is why I think we have always clicked so well. And you are more capable than you know – don’t cry.

To all my friends and colleagues in the coalition, to both David and Georgie – I am getting a bit disorientated now – as previous leaders of the coalition, thanks for giving me a go. Georgie, you asked me to be whip, and David, you gave me many opportunities to lead debates, and I am very thankful to you both. David, if they do not name a bench or a rug or a chandelier or something after you, I would put in a complaint because you are basically part of the furniture here by now, my friend.

To my great friend Mr McGowan, I will miss catching up over a cuppa. I will miss your Irish accent. I am not sure I will miss the short shorts or the wardrobe malfunctions, but I will miss the great humour that you handled yourself with. Ringwood will be lucky to have you.

To Mrs Hermans, or should I say Mrs Magnesium, thanks for your friendship over this term of Parliament, working on inquiries and always being down for a good yak and a long yak. I know after this place we will be able to keep in touch on one of your many phones. Good luck in the future.

Dr Heath, you have always been extremely decent, warm, friendly and beyond loyal. I will miss our evening walks, and you miss many of them too. Your discussions about shoes I will never understand, but I can see you always put your best foot forward. I know you will always miss the neck-cracking – or as you say, ‘adjustments’ – which I think you actually took a secret little bit of pleasure out of doing. I know that family is a huge part of your life, and I always will consider you a sister – and by that I mean quasi-sibling, not a member of a religious order.

Now Mrs McArthur. I owe Bev many things. Bev, you are hard working, determined and a warrior. That is something I could never match you toe to toe on. Underneath you are incredibly funny, and it has been an honour working with you as a fellow member for Western Victoria Region over the past four years but even beyond that in the Liberal Party as well. I have learned so much from you, Bev, but I fear I still do not live up to the fashion stakes that you set such a high standard on. The work continues.

To my colleagues in the Nats, Ms Bath and Mrs Broad, I have always valued your friendship. Both of you are incredibly passionate about your electorates and fighting for country Victoria. Thank you, and I will miss you both in our own different ways.

To Mr Welch, Mr Mulholland, Ms Lovell and Mr Luu, I am also thankful for having served with you. Each of you have made a contribution in your own way, and I know you will continue to do so in whatever capacity that might be in the future, whether it is with the party or out in the community. There is a lot that you have been able to work with all of us on, and I am very, very grateful for having been even a very small part of that.

I also want to acknowledge some people from the Assembly, including Mr Richard Riordan, who was an old man at the age of 16. Richard, good luck to you and Catherine with your growing grandparent responsibilities. Over the time I lived in Colac they were very, very good to me, and I am grateful.

To Michaela Settle, who I feel I am giving the kiss of death to right now – Michaela and I spent a long, long, long time on pre-poll together. I think I had a verbal altercation with someone from the AEU, and that must have been the attraction, because ever since she has been nothing but thoroughly decent towards me. Michaela, as the senior government MP in Ballarat, I thank you for always acknowledging me at events, for treating me with respect and for the many laughs we have shared.

Nicole Werner – Nicole, that tree outside will have our name on it one day. I will miss you. You are an intelligent woman, and I know you will do great things in the future. Thank you for always being there as a close confidant and a true friend. I know never to ask you for directions, but I do know that wherever I am in the world I will always be able to find you because I will always be able to hear you. Your cackle will ring in my ears forever and ever and ever.

To Kim Wells, thanks for teaching me Chinese with Nicole. To James Newbury – for being the gayest straight man I know. To Bridget Vallence – she is just an all-around good mate.

To the leaders I have served under – John, Brad and Jess – thank you. To Brad and John, I know we probably had our differences on different things, but I appreciate the opportunities that I was given and the work that we did together. Both of them are decent blokes, and I say that despite Brad’s hair. To Jess, I will miss catching up for coffee on sitting weeks. Good luck to you at the election. If Victorians do you the honour of electing you Premier, I have no doubt you will do an amazing job.

To all my colleagues in the Liberals and Nationals from right across both chambers, I am very, very grateful and humbled to have served with you.

To all the staff in this chamber and indeed across the Parliament, your professionalism and care is second to none, particularly Adam. He has always been so accommodating with those impromptu tours I have dragged him along to. In fact he is dragging me along – who am I kidding? Phil, for his sense of humour; Greg and Theo, boss and deputy boss as they are well known, and of course Pete; the tables office team – everyone does such an amazing job. Patrick O’Brien from the Legal and Social Issues Committee has had to endure my sense of humour. I am sorry, but he has done so with grace and always a huge smile. To all the staff I have worked with on inquiries, a huge thanks for your capacity, your diligence and all those deliberation days. Sometimes they were really tough, but it just goes to show how good they really are at the work that they do.

Thanks to Sam Groth, who was a good mate. He was someone I respected greatly. I think Sam’s family was unfairly brought into the public spotlight, and I would not wish that on anyone’s family. I wish you well, Sam, in whatever you do, and I am sure it will be a success.

I would not have made it here if I had not had support personally, and there are a lot of people I would love to name. I cannot name them all, but I certainly want to thank my staff: Margaret Turner, Matthew Verschuur and Jo Huitson – he is up there. Thanks for your loyalty, your friendship and your fun over these years. It has been a genuine pleasure working with you. To my friends at Colac Otway shire, where I was before this place, mayor Jason Schram and former councillor Kate Hanson, I thank you very much as well.

To my friends Mr Chander Sharma and his wife Maneesha, to Mr Sachin Dahiya and Shalini and his lovely daughter Saisha as well, and to Asheep Kaur, I have been absolutely honoured to work with you and learn about the Australian Indian community over my time. I am thankful for those lessons and for helping me make connections, and I am thankful for all the amazing people and organisations you have introduced me to that make up the vibrant and colourful Australian Indian community. I am blessed to have you in my life, and I am blessed that you are here tonight.

To Lionel Skram, who was a mental health and autism awareness advocate – his work is inspiring, as is his art. Thanks, Lionel – a humble man with big ideas.

Thank you to all members of the Liberal Party who have supported me, including the very first people who signed me up, long-suffering Margaret and Daryl Barling, who have put up with a lot. To the people I have met along the way – people like Marcus Foord and to Helen Bath, here with me tonight – you have all been amazing supports and sources of wisdom and laughter. Thank you. The Liberal Party is nothing without our volunteers, and you will always be valued and appreciated.

Thanks to my dad Terry and my stepmum Heather; they have been okay as well. They have actually been quite good.

To my partner Jack, thank you for keeping things afloat at home while I have been away – a lot. I know it has taken its toll. You have sacrificed many things so that I could do this job, but that time is soon to be over. I look forward to spending more time with you and to building a better future together. Thanks for your love and your support. I think I would be lost without you. Now the cats will finally love me, and I can finally get around to doing the side garden.

Now to finish up, I actually did end up finding a quote, by the way, that largely encapsulates my time here in this place. It comes from a well-known Australian TV series, and it is from the opening theme of the show. It goes:

Have you ever, ever felt like this?

Have strange things happened?

Are you going round the twist?

And my answer to all those questions is: absolutely, yes.

Members applauded.