Thursday, 10 December 2020

2020

Mr FOWLES (Burwood) (09:59): I rise to pay conscious homage to the year that was—2020 will go down in the annals of history for many reasons. But I would like to focus on the special moments that, whilst a reminder of the difficult times we were in, also managed to make us smile, shake our heads and say, ‘That is peak 2020’.

Sky News erroneously reported that Brett Sutton resigned, resulting in millions of Victorians simultaneously coughing up their cornflakes and more than a few cushion cover manufacturers suffering heart palpitations—peak 2020.

On a Friday in late August, right the middle of lockdown, we discovered that storms had interrupted power, resulting in untreated water entering supply systems in the south-east, prompting residents to wonder what was next. Had the NBN followed water’s lead, we would likely have had a civil uprising on our hands—peak 2020.

The mayor of Rockhampton tendered a shock resignation, and under new election rules there was no by-election. Instead, a countback determined that the Extinction Rebellion candidate, a barefooted neo-Marxist by the name of ‘Pineapple’ Hooper briefly became the mayor designate of Rockhampton. The rules were quickly rewritten—peak 2020.

The first US presidential debate set a new high-water mark for sheer unwatchability, while the vice-presidential debate had us enthralled not with the candidates but with a fly—peak 2020. Rudy Giuliani: the press conferences, the Borat film, the hair dye, the madness—peak 2020.

Finally, Victoria’s biodiversity was threatened not just by bushfire. The member for Kew launched a two-person campaign against the fruit bat colonies of Melbourne, an intervention that can only be described as batshit crazy and most definitely peak 2020.